How to Stop Negative Automatic Thoughts-

1. Identify the negative emotions:

2.Identify the negative thoughts about myself behind the negative emotions. I am:

3. Identify where in your body you feel these negative emotions:

4. This thought creates this action or behavior:

5. My negative conclusion about myself- I am:

6. Now counter the negative thought with the Word of God and what He says about me:

7. I am:

8. What does God say to me about all this?

Try it and let me know what kind of a shift you experience.

 For more information:

www.MightyWarriorCounseling.blogspot.com

 In my counseling practice there are themes that are repeated over and over again. The one that is being repeated lately is this phrase, "That just made me so angry!"  Or, "She makes me feel like I am going crazy".

Want to know something? No one can make you do or feel anything! The truth here is that you allowed that to make you angry. You are allowing her to make you feel like you are going crazy.

You have so much more power than you realize you have. 

You are NOT at the mercy of other people's feelings and actions. You choose. 

Be aware of your emotional habits. Reacting to someone else's junk can be a habit. Is it for you?

  National Domestic Violence Hotline- 1-800-799-7233

Crisis text line: HOME to 741741

 For my clients who suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or OCD issues- I want to make something clear: Just because you do not have a compulsive ritual (hand washing, stair counting, etc) that follows the invasive thought; this does not mean it isn't OCD.  Yeah. Really.  It's simply a mental compulsion or audio tape that loops in your head. 

Try this- when the thought invades your thinking space, clap your hands and say, "That's not helpful now. I'm walking away from this." And then...walk away from it mentally or maybe even physically.

We'll talk more in session. But yeah...still OCD or GAD. 

Not crazy. Crazy is as crazy does. Let me judge.

 Looking for my web site? I took it down. It was costing me too much money for simply posting facts about what I do, how I do it and what to expect. You can find all the important stuff here: 

www.MightyWarriorCounseling.blogspot.com

If you want to email me here is that address: marjoriebmcwilliams@gmail.com.

 So I have decided that my web site is costing too much money and that I can find a different way to display information about my counseling practice.  I made a page that will stay just that...a page. 

Here is the link: 

www.MightyWarriorCounseling.blogspot.com

Let me know what you think. Am I being a cheapskate?

Six Reality Checks

 Every now and then I have to shock my clients back into reality. They are living in a fantasy world that allows them to continue to self-harm or not get well.

 Which ones of these reality checks are obvious to you and which ones are things you have zero clue how to manage in your life?

Reality Check #1- You Must Stop Rescuing People.

Reality Check #2- You Have a Right to Not Care

Reality Check #3-You Have to Stop Bargaining For Love

Reality Check #4-You Can Learn How to Emotionally Detach

Reality Check #5-You Can Learn How to Feel Worthy

Reality Check #6-You Can Learn to Respect Yourself

Are any of these check points issues for you right now?

How To Find A Good Therapist

 This question comes up now and then so I thought I would address that question here- how can I find a good therapist?

1. Get references from trusted friends who have had good results and experiences with their therapist. What do I mean by good results? Read on!

2. Ease of discerning their fees via a web site or other means.

3. Does their web site convey their style of counseling? Is it inviting?

4. When requesting contact or an appointment is it an easy experience?

5. On first meeting, do you feel at ease with the counselor? 

6. Does the counselor ask relevant questions and seem interested in you and your issues?

7. When you left the first meeting, do you feel hopeful that this can be a good match and that good work can be done with them?

If you answered no to any of the above, you might want to try seeking another therapist. 

What has been your experience? Talk to me.

THREE YEARS OF NOT BLOGGING- WHY?

I guess that I stopped blogging because no one reads them. Maybe if I did write something maybe someone would read it? Or maybe I felt that whatever I had to say I would say in our counseling sessions so why spend my time and efforts here? Or maybe I think blogging is dumb. That's more like it. Who cares? Maybe if I care then that's enough? Nah. I don't care. So that's why I haven't paid attention to this page or to the videos page either. I just don't care about things outside of sessions so I will just leave it at that. If anyone cares or thinks differently, let me know. Or not. 

Things To Be Miserable About

 The List

A friend gave me a book called “11,002 Things to Be Miserable About”.  It consists of page after page of things that are humorous and not so humorous such as: 

Segregation

Rotten bananas

Bats that get stuck in your hair

Burnt toast

Running out of oxygen at the top of Mt Everest

Some of the things listed are laugh out loud topics and some things give me pause, but it’s the things not mentioned that truly make me feel miserable.  

Things like:

The lost perishing without making Jesus the Lord of their lives,

The gospel being against to law in certain countries,

Prayer being banned in public schools,

Not being allowed to display a nativity scene in a public place.

To someone else, is my list as trivial as the one that lists “split ends”, “bridezillas”, and “road rage”?

We all have our own personal lists of upsetting things. The crucial question is, what to do about it? Maybe I can’t do much about my own list but one thing I can do is put it to prayer because if there IS something I can and should do, God will reveal it.  Then the next question is- will I obey?

SHAME

I recently came across this article about shame which is something that 95% of my clients deal with at some point in our counseling sessions: 

"Dr Brene Brown explains that feelings of shame can quietly marinate over a lifetime. 'Here's the bottom line with shame,' she says. 'The less you talk about it, the more you got it. Shame needs three things to grow exponentially in out lives: secrecy, silence, and judgement.'

By keeping quiet, Brown says your shame will grow. 'It will creep into every corner and crevice of your life', she says.

The antidote, Brown says, is empathy. She explains that by talking about your shame with a friend who expresses empathy, the painful feeling cannot survive. 'Shame depends on me buying into the belief that I am alone', she says.

Here's the bottom line: 'Shame cannot survive being spoken', Brown says. 'It cannot survive empathy.'

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/brene-brown-shame_n_3807115

Thoughts?

What To Do While You Wait

I have given out this homework assignment to several of my clients as they wait out this virus and the quarantining mandate. Take a look at the video and let me know if you use it and what happens!

https://www.facebook.com/youareamightywarrior/videos/255363595490558/?notif_id=1586294575133705&notif_t=page_post_reaction

BREATHE!

In my counseling practice I often teach my clients who have anxiety issues these two simple breathing exercises. Focusing on the breath helps the emotions to calm down. Once this becomes a habit, deep breathing can take a client from despair and fear to a place of rest and centeredness. 

Breathing Techniques

Simple Abdominal Breathing Exercise for Relaxation

1. With right hand on chest and left hand on abdomen, inhale slowly and deeply through your nose. Keep your shoulders relaxed. Your abdomen should expand, and your chest should rise very little.
2. Exhale slowly through your mouth. As you blow air out, purse your lips slightly, but keep your jaw relaxed. You may hear a soft “whooshing” sound as you exhale.
3. Repeat this breathing exercise for several minutes.

You can perform this exercise as often as needed. It can be done standing up, sitting down, or lying down.

https://www.verywellmind.com/abdominal-breathing-2584115

Alternate Nostril Breathing Technique

1. Place your thumb gently onto your right nostril. Place your ring and little fingers gently onto your left nostril.

2. Close your eyes and begin by softly closing your right nostril (using your right thumb) and inhale slowly, deeply, smoothly, gently and without strain through your left nostril.

3. Close your left nostril (using your ring and little fingers) and release closure of your right. Exhale through your right nostril. Inhale through your right nostril.

4. Close your right nostril and release closure of your left. Exhale through your left nostril.

This completes one round. Continue the pattern from steps 4-7 for as long as you wish. When you’re finished: relax both arms, sit and breathe naturally for a few moments before opening your eyes.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12936/3-reasons-everyone-should-try-alternate-nostril-breathing.html

Next Bible Study Series!

I will be starting a new women's Bible Study series this fall at Real Life Church, Sacramento. 

Tuesdays 9:30-11:30

Starting this fall

Child care is available!

Topic:  "One Word That Can Change Your Life- SOZO"

See you there?

Developing A Covenant of Intimacy with God

Ready to start the new year with some group sessions?  I will be forming an intensive Bible study and counseling session composed of six (max) women in each group starting in January of 2018. It will run for six weeks with weekly meetings in my office. Cost is $20.00/two hour session. Sign up now and let's get started!! 

TIMELESS WORDS

As we launch the beginning of You Are A Mighty Warrior Counseling Services, (https://www.youareamightywarrior.com) I would like to quote something from the workbook, "Thin Within- Rebuilding God's Temple"- page B-5:

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity."- Jer. 29:12-14a

"Consider the number of times the word 'will' is used in this brief passage. Look at the things that God desires us to do as well as the things He says He will do. It is God who is at work in us to will and to do according to His good pleasure (Phil 2:13)....No one seeks after God at all according to Romans 3:11. Not even one. We must be 'dragged' by the Father in order even to begin to be willing to do our part. Because He initiates, He puts it in our heart to do His good pleasure. We love because He first loved us. Our seeking comes in response to a God who pursues."

What is your response to this? What do you think this means? How is He pursuing you today?

Control Buttons

I wish there were a “pause” or a “mute” button embedded in my arm.

Mrs. Blab caught me at the grocery store. She started telling me about her no good son. I imagined myself sliding back my sweater sleeve and pushing the mute button.

When I got home, the grocery bag ripped and a can fell on my foot causing some choice words to escape my mouth. I wish I could have again pushed my sleeve back and hit pause before it hit my foot so I could plan out a better, more appropriate response.

Buttons like this would be handy because I don’t wait well. I didn’t want to have to wait while listening to Mrs. Blab’s frustrations, or have to wait before reacting to my foot pain.

Catherine Marshall said, “Waiting works. It is a joining of a man and God to achieve an end.”

I like that.

I actually DO have a button for these situations. It’s a “wait button” that is connected to God, which is wired to patience, and embedded in my heart.

Lamentations 3:25- The LORD is good to those who wait for Him.

Now if I could only learn to use it.

Watchmen of the Lord

The Watchmen of the Lord

I often can’t sleep at night.

Insomnia used to be a frustration for me until a RLC friend lent me a book about being a watchman of the Lord.

Ezekiel 3:17

 “Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the people of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me.”

God appoints watchmen (and women) who will stay awake and who will keep their eyes fixed on the horizon scanning it for dangers approaching the camp.

I invite all of you who have those nights of sleeplessness to turn the annoyance of it around and to start praying with me. Let’s be watchful. Let’s pray for our church and our pastors. Let’s pray for our enemies, for our children, and for ourselves. Let’s pray, using this quiet time while the world slumbers, to draw near to God. Even in the wee hours, God is there waiting for us. When we see evil approaching, let’s sound the alarm! Let’s look at our sleepless nights as a time to take our turn interceding on behalf of the body of Christ!

Will you watch with me and pray?

The Transition

The Transition

Good morning, Father.

My eyes are stuck shut.

My muscles are tired and stiff.

My hair! It’s standing straight up from the shock of the restless night. My face has new lines and folds from being pressed into the pillowcase.

I look as good as I feel.

I have no idea what today will bring which makes me fearful.

What tragedy or unforeseen calamity is crouching at my door waiting to devour my children or me?

I feel exposed and vulnerable in the mornings.

My soul feels the crush of life’s responsibilities, Lord, because during the night my hope changed hands. I switched from trusting You with my life to putting my trust in myself.

Forgive me, Father. Mornings are always where I have to shake my befuddled self and remember that rolling the earth on its axis is not my job. I am not the manager of the cosmos.

“Find rest O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 62:5-6

Thank You, Lord.

Let’s start this morning over again.

My hope comes from You.