How To Find A Good Therapist

 This question comes up now and then so I thought I would address that question here- how can I find a good therapist?

1. Get references from trusted friends who have had good results and experiences with their therapist. What do I mean by good results? Read on!

2. Ease of discerning their fees via a web site or other means.

3. Does their web site convey their style of counseling? Is it inviting?

4. When requesting contact or an appointment is it an easy experience?

5. On first meeting, do you feel at ease with the counselor? 

6. Does the counselor ask relevant questions and seem interested in you and your issues?

7. When you left the first meeting, do you feel hopeful that this can be a good match and that good work can be done with them?

If you answered no to any of the above, you might want to try seeking another therapist. 

What has been your experience? Talk to me.

THREE YEARS OF NOT BLOGGING- WHY?

I guess that I stopped blogging because no one reads them. Maybe if I did write something maybe someone would read it? Or maybe I felt that whatever I had to say I would say in our counseling sessions so why spend my time and efforts here? Or maybe I think blogging is dumb. That's more like it. Who cares? Maybe if I care then that's enough? Nah. I don't care. So that's why I haven't paid attention to this page or to the videos page either. I just don't care about things outside of sessions so I will just leave it at that. If anyone cares or thinks differently, let me know. Or not. 

Things To Be Miserable About

 The List

A friend gave me a book called “11,002 Things to Be Miserable About”.  It consists of page after page of things that are humorous and not so humorous such as: 

Segregation

Rotten bananas

Bats that get stuck in your hair

Burnt toast

Running out of oxygen at the top of Mt Everest

Some of the things listed are laugh out loud topics and some things give me pause, but it’s the things not mentioned that truly make me feel miserable.  

Things like:

The lost perishing without making Jesus the Lord of their lives,

The gospel being against to law in certain countries,

Prayer being banned in public schools,

Not being allowed to display a nativity scene in a public place.

To someone else, is my list as trivial as the one that lists “split ends”, “bridezillas”, and “road rage”?

We all have our own personal lists of upsetting things. The crucial question is, what to do about it? Maybe I can’t do much about my own list but one thing I can do is put it to prayer because if there IS something I can and should do, God will reveal it.  Then the next question is- will I obey?

SHAME

I recently came across this article about shame which is something that 95% of my clients deal with at some point in our counseling sessions: 

"Dr Brene Brown explains that feelings of shame can quietly marinate over a lifetime. 'Here's the bottom line with shame,' she says. 'The less you talk about it, the more you got it. Shame needs three things to grow exponentially in out lives: secrecy, silence, and judgement.'

By keeping quiet, Brown says your shame will grow. 'It will creep into every corner and crevice of your life', she says.

The antidote, Brown says, is empathy. She explains that by talking about your shame with a friend who expresses empathy, the painful feeling cannot survive. 'Shame depends on me buying into the belief that I am alone', she says.

Here's the bottom line: 'Shame cannot survive being spoken', Brown says. 'It cannot survive empathy.'

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/brene-brown-shame_n_3807115

Thoughts?

What To Do While You Wait

I have given out this homework assignment to several of my clients as they wait out this virus and the quarantining mandate. Take a look at the video and let me know if you use it and what happens!

https://www.facebook.com/youareamightywarrior/videos/255363595490558/?notif_id=1586294575133705&notif_t=page_post_reaction

BREATHE!

In my counseling practice I often teach my clients who have anxiety issues these two simple breathing exercises. Focusing on the breath helps the emotions to calm down. Once this becomes a habit, deep breathing can take a client from despair and fear to a place of rest and centeredness. 

Breathing Techniques

Simple Abdominal Breathing Exercise for Relaxation

1. With right hand on chest and left hand on abdomen, inhale slowly and deeply through your nose. Keep your shoulders relaxed. Your abdomen should expand, and your chest should rise very little.
2. Exhale slowly through your mouth. As you blow air out, purse your lips slightly, but keep your jaw relaxed. You may hear a soft “whooshing” sound as you exhale.
3. Repeat this breathing exercise for several minutes.

You can perform this exercise as often as needed. It can be done standing up, sitting down, or lying down.

https://www.verywellmind.com/abdominal-breathing-2584115

Alternate Nostril Breathing Technique

1. Place your thumb gently onto your right nostril. Place your ring and little fingers gently onto your left nostril.

2. Close your eyes and begin by softly closing your right nostril (using your right thumb) and inhale slowly, deeply, smoothly, gently and without strain through your left nostril.

3. Close your left nostril (using your ring and little fingers) and release closure of your right. Exhale through your right nostril. Inhale through your right nostril.

4. Close your right nostril and release closure of your left. Exhale through your left nostril.

This completes one round. Continue the pattern from steps 4-7 for as long as you wish. When you’re finished: relax both arms, sit and breathe naturally for a few moments before opening your eyes.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12936/3-reasons-everyone-should-try-alternate-nostril-breathing.html

Next Bible Study Series!

I will be starting a new women's Bible Study series this fall at Real Life Church, Sacramento. 

Tuesdays 9:30-11:30

Starting this fall

Child care is available!

Topic:  "One Word That Can Change Your Life- SOZO"

See you there?